I Hate Your Scene

I hate your scene.

I really do.

Ok, this one’s gonna get loopy and not just be strictly about horror - but it contains a message I feel is important about “scenes” and it pertains very directly to a lot of horror culture. Also, will be going into some sensitive areas and I realize that I may alienate a group of people by writing about this, and it may be the last time you read my blog, but I’m going to get this out anyway. If you think anything here pertains to you and you feel insulted I ask you to consider the following:

• This is not an insult to anyone specifically – it’s a general feeling I have – so don’t’ get too butthurt.

• If you still feel insulted is there a chance it’s because some of the things I am going to say have some truth in your life? – They sure did for me. Some of the negative things I’m going to talk about here I feel very comfortable saying because they were unfortunate realities I created in my life and I had to re-evaluate some things for myself. So when I’m talking about things here, know that I’m talking about myself as being included in this. Also, I want to be perfectly clear – I’m not trying to change anyone. These are my opinions.

• If you STILL feel insulted - this probably isn’t going to be one of your favorite blogs. I suggest shopping around. This blog, while primarily about horror, is also about my experience with horror and other things that are related to horror and horror fans in general. I’m very interested in social interactions of groups of people and in deep self-assessment, so there is going to be writing about this.

So yeah, I fucking hate your shitty scene, and let me clarify what I mean by “scene” here.

As a lifelong underground metalhead as well as horror fan I’ve been both involved in, and just generally around, a lot of groups of people who are fiercely dedicated to and adamant about their particular passion. After all, these are two groups known for being really die-hard about the things they’re into. They’re people who are often heavily into supporting their “scene” and vehemently opposed to those who shit on it or don’t understand it. They’re quick to stand up for what they love and even quicker defend its honor. They’re people who have been misunderstood for one reason or another because what they like is different than what the majority of people like. There’s a righteousness in their notion of being themselves and going against the grain at all costs as to not bow to convention – a tip of the hat to a cryptic romanticism in the embodiment of a rebel that takes an objective overview and yells “fuck the society who wrongs so many – you understand nothing and I won’t play a part in your sheep games”.

Which is all very admirable, except for one thing:

Many of them are selfish, egotistical, hypocritical, elitist douche bags who often have become the very things they preach against.

What? I said it...

So at this point some of the people who know me are probably saying “Hoooold on now dick chisel. Don’t you run a horror club?? Why would you do that if you hate the scene and think people in it are assholes?” Well, I’m glad I rhetorically asked that!

I LOVE horror. I LOVE horror people. I HATE scenes. I hate all scenes. I gave the example of metal and horror because they’re ones I have a lot of experience with personally. I WAS that scene guy – even though it was a very underground scene it was still just a scene... I just slowly started to see people doing things within the genres I love that made me roll my eyes… and then more… and more… until I was on an ocular barrel roll that would take cookie monster 2 large Ritalin and a can off red bull to keep up with.

I speak from the experience from the things I have lived around, regarding both what I love and what I hate about them. It’s really the same with all scenes though. From being underground cooler because you know more horror movies to wearing hipster glasses in order to say to everyone that you’re an enlightened urbanite who has important shit to say, and every step in between. The issue isn’t as much about conformity or non-conformity - it’s the pompous attitude that sectionalized scenes we subscribe to are better (or more enlightened) than other people in general.

I suspect at some point you were looked down upon, were prejudged, and were ridiculed for what you loved. And it sucked. But then, with scenes, we fall into it being okay to be shitty to other people, to generalize other “normal” people, or other people in the same scene, or other scenes in general because, well, someone did it to us. Well grow up. That’s not ok. It makes us weaker.

One exception - if you’re under say 25 or so take your time.., this doesn’t all apply to you YET. Learn to be pissed at people and discover the things that are good and bad in the world to you… it builds character. But if you’re a little older and feel like some of this could pertain to you…I’m talking to you. I still fall into the trappings myself – I’m nowhere near where I want to be with it – but I’m working on it. I know it’s selfish bullshit though.

So, what then, abandon the people who like the oddball things that you like? Abandon the things you like in general? Of course not. I love all the same thing I have loved, but I don’t concern myself with what’s okay within parameters of a scene and I don’t feel it necessary to bash everyone who isn’t just like me. And I LOVE the people and being a part of horror culture… just not everything about what a “scene” contains and some of the petty bullshit within. So what’s all this about then?

A community.

For the sake of this argument for this posting I’m going to define a “scene” as... all of THAT above… and a “community” as something entirely different that is only similar in that it’s also a grouping of people that share a similar passion. I know this is bordering on some hippy dippy, helter skelter stuff right now and the lines are easy to blur… I’m not saying we should walk around trying to heal all of the sick and wounded in these fragmented scenes… What I am saying though is that that basis for any community focuses on benevolence, love and understanding as opposed to spite, insecurity, and prejudice (and hopefully no poisoned cool aid – that’s a different thing).

To me a community promotes your ability to truly be yourself while sharing with other people who you can connect to on some agreed upon common bond - like horror. Instead of making contests and comparisons it focuses on sharing, and teaching, and learning, and remaining open. It’s what I hope for and work for with Orange Ulster Horror Club.

Here are a few of the lessons I’ve learned (some easily, some harder, some I still struggle with…) about the value of community in horror culture as opposed to “scene” behavior, both through the club, and through other experiences:

• You don’t know everything: Even if you think you know a ton, someone knows more. It shouldn’t have to be a contest (unless it’s horror trivia night!). If someone keeps answering your conversations about horror knowledge by one–upping you unnecessarily all the time you don’t have to do the same, even if you have info to do so. It’s a pissing contest that just makes us all more bitter and jaded. If it’s you doing it step back and ask yourself why. If you can’t figure it out that’s ok, but don’t attribute negativity to the other party. Be honest with yourself. It sometimes takes a long time, and again, that’s ok, but it’s not ok to be a little piss ant to someone else in order to prove something to yourself. That’s “scene” behavior and it’s where it belongs.

• Be nice to noobs: There is nothing more fucked up or of little service to the culture that you love than to be cruel to someone who genuinely wants to be a part of it and doesn’t quite know where to get all the answers. They have to start somewhere. Try to remember when you first got into horror. Did you jump right to the most obscure stuff or did you have a learning curve by finding more accessible stuff first? Try not to poke too much fun. TEACH and LISTEN.

• Learn: You don’t have to have all of the answers. It’s ok not to know a certain movie, even if you’ve been a horror fan for a long time. It doesn’t negate your knowledge or love of horror. Instead LEARN from other people. Even if it’s someone who you don’t think knows as much about horror in general as you. Even if you don’t care about the particular movie and don’t want to learn about it that’s fine to say too, but remain open to learning as opposed to always just telling.

• Share: Your knowledge, your questions, your time, your craft, your favorites, your ideas. Share. Scenes TAKE. Communities SHARE.

• Let other people be good at things too: You might be great at what you do, but allow others to feel good about what they do too. Communities get stronger by acknowledging the ways individuals can contribute, in large or small ways. It makes things better for everyone and creates something we WANT to be a part of and WANT to give more of ourselves to.

• Know when to tell someone something is not ok: Not everyone is going to agree on everything and that’s kind of the point with some things, so this has to be taken with a grain of salt. Whining about or barking at everyone who isn’t doing what you want them to, or who has a different opinion than you is definite scene behavior, but letting someone know when they are doing something blatantly disrespectful to the integrity of the community is important to define standards.

• Don’t place blame, do take responsibility: Even when you know someone is wrong, try not to strike them down with blame, and if you mess up own up to it. It’s not the end of the world. And don’t worry, if you subscribe to this and someone else doesn’t, while it can be really frustrating, they’ll likely end up falling out of the community.

• You don’t have to add everything to add something: Anyone who can do even 95% of the other items in this list in my eyes is adding 100x more to horror as a community just by being around than people who subscribe to the “scene” and create negativity regardless of what else they bring. Don’t belittle your contributions.

• Know you can change things you want to: If you read this and feel like something pertains to you and want to change it (like MOST to me), but feel like you’ve been doing it so long you don’t know how to, know that you can if you want to. For as much as it isn’t comfortable, if you want to accept it, change can be good, and it’s usually the one thing at a time things and just desire to change them that do the most. So try not to sweat it too much. Strong communities allow wiggle room for change, scenes rarely do.

Beware of “scenes” that masquerade themselves as communities. The words alone hold very little meaning, but the actions within them will let you know where you’re at every time. Still, don’t be surprised if you run into hybrids, just look at which direction they’re headed in, and any time you can help change a scene into a community…

Fucking do it. For the love of all things horror culture, fucking do it.